The first year while Dwayne was a Deputy Sheriff, our lives were tough but yet manageable. It was by no means glamorous, exciting or anything to be envious of. Last January Dwayne decided he would like to become a K-9 officer and two months later he became one. With this new job came an unimaginable amount of stress for me leading quickly to a completely dysfunctional home life. As you might know, any SWAT team position requires many hours, unexpected callouts, and mostly night shifts. Things like expecting Dwayne to pick up the kids from school, or planning a meal at 6pm, or having him help with the chores became impossible because just as he would make a commitment to do something, his work would call and it would leave me scrambling to make other arrangements for the family. With me working full time with an hours' commute each way it quickly became evident if we weren't going to get a divorce, I would need to quit and take sole responsibility of EVERYTHING. (minus the yard work and home improvements)
I am so grateful I was able to find a work-at-home job that allows me to do EVERYTHING and we no longer live on the edge of chaotic disaster. The kids are so much happier that I am home. I am so much less stressed. Dwayne doesn't have to feel guilty about not being available and although we don't live the normal family lifestyle, we have found something that works for everyone.
Still every now and then I sulk into sorriness for myself because it seems like my whole life has been arranged around my husbands work. I started to lose a bit of myself as I am wrapped up in doing everything to make life easier for Dwayne or keeping up with all of the house, the kids, the homework, the errands, the appointments, and working too. I love Dwayne dearly and want to do everything I can but yet I need to live my own life and have my own goals outside of being Super Wife/Mom. This is why you have seen me blogging a lot more lately. Writing and Photography are "me" things that put balance back into my life. You will probably see even more writing from me in the forthcoming weeks as I begin my "Non-Fiction Writing" class next week I will post my writing on the blog and hope you all enjoy what I write.
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